


I'm So Terrified, Steve

by StarSpangledBucky



Series: Marvel Ship Drabbles [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Confessions, Drabble, Feels, First Kiss, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Part Of A Tumblr Ask Thing, Pining, Stucky - Freeform, bucky is scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSpangledBucky/pseuds/StarSpangledBucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has been pining for Steve and only wants to tell him how he feels. Tony gives him a small pep talk and ushers him to say something. How Bucky delivers his confessions isn't how he wanted to do it, but at least Steve's reaction is better than he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm So Terrified, Steve

**Author's Note:**

> My friend has organised these drabbles for me now, thank you sweetpea <3
> 
> This one was number 32 and Stucky
> 
> "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified," was the dialogue.

“Bucky, you need to tell him before it’s too late,” Tony warned.

“Since when did Tony Stark care?” Bucky scoffed.

“I’ve always cared, see my very first arc reactor in my lab? It says _‘Tony Stark has a heart’_ and Pepper gave it to me. I know she’s not around anymore, but I always spare a minute to look at it and remember that I do care,” Tony replied.

Guilt rippled through Bucky as he scrubbed his hands down his face, the heel of his hands digging into his closed eyes. He’d settled into Avengers Tower over the past few months and within that time he’d started to notice things starting to change. Steve was going out on dates and Bucky couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of _'it should be me’_ or a spark of jealousy now and again. Truth is, he wanted Steve, he was pining for him and wanted to tell him but he just couldn’t.

“You need to tell him or someone else is going to sweep him off his feet and run to the hills with him,” Tony spoke, resting his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky couldn’t have that, not at all.

“Is he home yet?” he asked.

“Captain Rogers has just arrived home Sergeant Barnes,” Jarvis informed.

“Jarvis hold the elevator and let Bucky go up to their floor first,” Tony ordered.

“Of course sir,” Jarvis responded.

“Thanks Tony, I owe you one,” Bucky mused.

“You owe me Shawarma and a couple of hours to toy with your arm,” Tony retorted.

“Deal,” the brunette replied, standing up from his seat.

He jogged over to the elevator and stepped inside, the doors closing as he gave as,all wave to Tony. The ride was only short, but it seemed long for Bucky, like he was travelling somewhere far away. His heartbeat was heavy in his chest, hands tapping against the sides of his thighs as he took in deep breaths before exhaling. _Why the hell was he so nervous?_ This was Steve, he could always talk to Steve about anything. But they had just been friends then, this was different. He was in love with Steve, he knew it, for the past few months he couldn’t get the feelings to subside. When he stepped into the room, he quickly turned on the lights, the TV and went to grab a beer out of the fridge.

“Captain Rogers is on his way Sergeant Barnes,” Jarvis interrupted.

“Thanks,” Bucky murmured.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Bucky felt the air getting punched out of his lungs. Steve was dressed smart, but casual, a white button up shirt and black slacks. _God dammit get looser shirts Steve_ Bucky thought. He swallowed thickly and took a swig of the beer, before placing it on the counter.

“Hey Steve,” he greeted.

“Hey pal,” Steve answered.

“How was the _uh_ - _hm_ -date?” Bucky faltered.

Steve shrugged.

“Guy seemed more interested in telling me about his collection of Captain America merchandise than actually talking to me,” he explained.

Bucky laughed and clapped his hand over his mouth.

“I-I’m sorry that w-was rude,” he stammered. “That bad?” he added.

“Bad,” Steve sighed.

“Tony bad?” Bucky asked.

“Worse. Stark’s collection is tame,” Steve chuckled.

“Ouch,” Bucky snorted, shaking his head. “You want a beer?” he offered.

The blonde shook his head.

“Might go for a shower and then read before bed,” he mused.

“Okay. I- _um_ …goodnight,” Bucky breathed out.

“Goodnight Buck,” Steve replied, smiling softly in return.

 _Fuck,_ his smile drove Bucky up the wall, it was stunning and like a giant beam of sunshine. Steve was halfway down the hallway when Bucky tore himself away from the kitchen and stood at the end of it. _You can do this_ he told himself.

“Steve!” he called.

His best friend stopped in his tracks and turned back around, a few buttons undone on his shirt, his brow raised slightly.

“Yeah?” he called back.

“I-” Bucky paused, choking back the growing lump in his throat.

What he said next was more of just a murmur, causing Steve to frown as he took a step forward.

“I didn’t hear that,” he said.

“I- _fuck_ -Блядь,” the brunette cursed. “I said…I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified,” he continued.

Steve’s eyes widened as a gasp passed his lips that parted slightly in shock. Bucky could feel his cheeks flushing with embarrassment and regret, his gaze falling from Steve’s. His hands were shaking and he couldn’t help feeling like maybe he’d just fucked up everything. This would be where Steve laughed at him and said _'funny joke Bucky’_ and walk away.

“I’m terrified because I didn’t ask to fall in love with you. I knew it was risky, but you can’t pick who you fall in love with and I guess it’s just unfortunate that I ended up loving you. I don’t deserve to be loved. I’m fucking terrified because I feel like if I keep telling you how much I love you that you’re just going to leave. You’ll never want to see me again, you’ll kick me out and I won’t know what to do with myself. I’m terrified of losing you Steve. I-I- _fuck_ I’m sorry. I’m sorry I started loving you but I can’t let it go. I fucking love you. I. love. _YOU._ And I can’t even look you in the eye. I get jealous when you go on all these dates because I wish it was me. I know, it’s selfish. But I can’t help it when I love you so much. I don’t _think_ I love you. I _know_ I do. But if you choose to laugh in my face and tell me to stop being an idiot then I understand. I understand if you don’t love me back. But I don’t think I can stop loving you ever because you were always there for me Steve, you were my best friend, I guess I just-” he stopped, drawing in a breath. “I want you, and I need you dammit. I need you! I’m so fucking terrified, Steve,” he choked out.

 _Was he crying?_ He was _fucking_ crying, the tears welling in his eyes as he let out a sob, covering his mouth with his hand. It was out in the open now and Steve just stood in the hallway, stunned beyond belief and Bucky felt like he was going to faint. His eyes finally met Steve’s and he could see the blonde’s chest rising a little faster than usual. Then he saw the glossiness of his eyes and Bucky’s heart nearly leapt out his throat. Steve moved then, storming back down the hallway, his course set straight for Bucky. The brunette retreated a little, stepping back two steps, losing his balance when his knees hit the sofa. Steve was reaching out to him, grabbing Bucky’s shirt and saving him from his fall to the sofa. He was breathing heavily as he stared at Bucky with an intense gaze, his grip tightening on his shirt.

“Steve,” Bucky uttered.

Suddenly he was yanked forward, lips crashing against Steve’s, pressed firmly together in a chaste kiss. Bucky grasped the collar of Steve’s shirt and found himself kissing him back, just their lips moving in perfect sync. That was until Steve managed to part Bucky’s lips and deepen the kiss, kissing him like he was the last person living on Earth. His hands slid down to Bucky’s waist, pulling him in closer, head tilting to get at a better angle. They parted for air and Bucky rested his forehead against Steve’s, hands now placed on the sides of Steve’s neck, eyes still closed. Steve drew his own bottom lip in and ran his tongue over it, before exhaling sharply.

“Bucky,” he whispered.

“What the hell was that?” he queried.

“A kiss, I think,” Steve rebuked.

“That was…wow, fuck Steve I’ve never been kissed like that before,” Bucky soothed.

Steve was smiling again, opening his eyes as he was met with Bucky’s blue-grey ones, still a little wet with tears.

“Don’t you ever say you don’t deserve to be loved,” he grumbled.

“But-” Bucky paused, feeling Steve’s thumb brushing over his lips.

“Don’t. Because I love you too. I was terrified to tell you how I was feeling. I guess the dates were a distraction,” Steve mumbled.

Bucky sighed in relief.

“I love you. I love you so much Steve. I’m sorry I was such an idiot. I love you. I love you,” he chanted.

The blonde shut him up with another kiss, slower and more affectionate, pulling back now and again, smirking at the small _'smack’_ their lips made when they met and parted. He ran his hands up and down Bucky’s sides comfortingly, peppering s few kisses to his cheeks.

“I love you too. So much, a lot even,” he confessed.

Bucky simply smiled, his body feeling like it was floating.

“So…would you like to join _me_ in the shower?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow with a grin.

“Fuck yes,” Bucky huffed out.

All Steve could do was laugh and kiss him more, wrapping him up in his arms. Wrapping him up in a place where he truly belonged.


End file.
